Week 19: My Morbid Imagination

from by John Brownell

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Do you ever feel like we should just stop?
It’s too late to turn back now
but maybe not too late to drop it
Do you ever feel like a stranger
In a familiar land?
And all your stuff has become contraband?

You say there is still love in the air
And just because I don’t feel it
doesn’t mean that it’s not there
But as we float around the drain
Burning questions remain
Unanswered like your prayers

You say just show us a smile
You say try running a mile
You say it’s all in my head
Just imagine the best
And go manifest it

Do you remember on my birthday
I turned 18 that April then I left for good in May
But we held on while the holding was good
I lied to you that I would
Never let my faith dissipate

We stayed up until the white noise from the cars on I-75
Conspired with the sun to bury the night alive
And all the alcohol we drank
And all the drugs we could take
Wouldn’t slow the morning light

You said show me that smile
You said I should change my hairstyle
You were something to behold
Something to be held
As we both fell

I fear
My morbid imagination
Gets in the way
Of the straight and narrow
I sincerely
Hope that I’m wrong
But I’m not feeling strong
And I can’t help but long for those days

Do you ever feel like we should let go?
It’s too late to turn back now
But maybe we should just cancel the show
Do you ever feel like a fraud
Living a facade?
Where every new idea’s recycled group-thought?

You say just soak in a hot tub
You say try joining my book club
Well I saw your event
And I responded interested
But I won’t go

I fear
My morbid imagination
Gets in the way
Of the straight and narrow
I sincerely
Hope that I’m wrong
But I’m not feeling strong
And I can’t help but long for those days

I fear
My morbid imagination
Gets in the way
Every day
I sincerely
Hope that you’re right
When you say it’s a phase
And everything will be okay

credits

from 2019 Song​-​a​-​Week Thingy, released January 1, 2019

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